the melt

Something about this time of year brings warring emotions to the surface. I notice it every spring -  I'm excited, actually beyond psyched, to get out and enjoy the sunshine and the melting snow but at the same time I start feeling sluggish, sometimes moody. I can't figure out what causes it but it seems to happen around this time every year.

Chris, me and the baby have all been passing around the same cold for the last couple weeks. Luckily we haven't felt its effects all at once but there is always one person in this household feeling under the weather. The last 5 NIGHTS have been brutal, with crying baby waking up every hour. Soon, soon I hope we will get back to normal and back to being night-weaned. Feeling sick wreaks havoc on your emotions too and I know Jude has been extra mom-attached lately. When Chris brought him over this morning he melted into my lap, draping his body into every nook of mine.

But all sickness aside, we've been enjoying the warm temperatures immensely! Out to the park, walks in the sunshine, wrapped onto my back - going out with only a sweater on is so exciting. I'm fully expecting another storm or two yet but I jumped the gun and put away all of our heavy winter clothing. It made my heart happy, so it was worth it :)

In other news, we all attended the initial court date for the man charged with hitting us. He has been charged with impaired driving and dangerous driving (for speeding at 140km/hr) causing injury. I wasn't sure what I would feel seeing him but I needed to be there and get a first hand impression of him. He's older than we thought, I'd guess 25-35 years, and showed up with his mom. Nothing happened in court other than he was instructed to speak with a lawyer before his next court appearance. I didn't feel like approaching to talk to him that day but I likely will in the future. That was enough emotional business for one day. 

Yesterday brought Jude out to Earls with my cousin Tanya and her hubby Colin. Lots of oohing and ahhing from the waitresses over my handsome little man. We've been hanging around in restaurants lots lately, craving pancakes but not wanting to actually cook any (that and our lack of syrup). He loves watching all the people eating around us. Much more exciting than our little nook I'm sure.

spring has sprung!

Had such a great day yesterday - I can hardly believe we are having plus 10  weather and it's only March! The snow drifts that were three feet high only last week have melted to a thin blanket, the sidewalks are clear for strollers and bicycles, rubber boots are a necessity to navigate huge puddles of melt. Loving it!

Despite having had a rough sleep Friday night (poor bug's tummy was bothering so much we were awake for hours at a time rocking and nursing), he awoke happy and full of energy around 9 am. We decided to go out for breakfast with papa and walked the two blocks to the restaurant in sweaters only!! Bug's appetite was back after not holding down solids all day Friday so we enjoyed our eggs and real hashbrowns. I hate fake, prepackaged hashbrowns with a passion and got to rejoice over real potato hash. What I really wanted was pancakes or waffles, but Pembina Village Restaurant doesn't serve them. Any ideas of a restaurant close by Confusion Corner that does? Next time we'll be hitting up Smitty's unless we find something better.

Came home to play for a bit until Kristy and her nephew Chayne stopped by. It was great to visit with another baby that's close to Jude's age - we had fun sitting outside at Second Cup feeding the babes, walking down to the park and playing on the swings (Jude loved it! I forsee lots of summer days pushing him in the swing) and walking along Wellington. Thank GOODNESS for rubber boots or I would have been walking around in drenched feet for all the lakes we went through.

Bug was asleep when we got back and rather than move him and risk waking, I left him outside to fetch knitting and water. Then I stayed on the porch while he napped in the fresh air. When he woke we played around outside and walked the yard, planning and dreaming of even warmer days. Lots of bunny droppings although I hadn't seen many this winter and our crabapple tree is finally dropping last year's apples, soft and decomposing. I hope they compost quickly into the soil and are covered by grass.

Chris wants to build us a picnic table. I hope he does since I've been wanting to buy one, it would be even better if he builds it. Figured it should be simple enough to get a pattern and wood, and he has enough tools in the basement to get it done. I'm sure he'll think of something else to buy but I think we've got most of what we need. I would love to have him also build a baby table seat out of wood, if possible, to slide onto the end. We'll see it that's possible...

 

 Quick Adjust table seat at Chicco

I have lots I want to do this summer and hope it's all possible and I have enough time between returning to work and spending time with baby. We shall see.

Today I'm listening to The Fugitives,  Mark Berube and the Patriotic Few and Flying Fox and the Hunter Gatherers. I was looking up the Fugitives on myspace since I wanted to listen to them but didn't feel like digging out my CD. I guess they have a new album out now, sans Mark Berube and C.R. Avery, and I don't really like it as much as their last. Who knows, maybe it'll grow on me more after a couple listens but doesn't catch me as much as Graffiti Sex or Greyhound or Microphone did. Loved their fusion of slam poetry, instruments and Mark's voice...

I think I'll go do a little more knitting while the boys are still sleeping.

ups and downs

Yesterday was an up day. So beautiful outside we couldn't wait to get out for a walk. Chris was off to work for noon so after morning nap and reading books, I decided we needed more books. Took off first to Movie Village to return a truly truly terrible movie: Terminator Salvation.

Yes, I date a nerd. He loves his toys and his nostalgia movies (Terminator, Transformers, etc...) and I indulge by watching them with him. And sometimes I actually enjoy them. But Terminator Salvation.... oh, there are not enough words to describe how awful this movie was. Setting aside the wooden dialogue and plodding storyline dotted by Scenes. Of. Incredible. Action! this movie still had HUGE holes. Such as continuity. Kyle Reese is in a cell with a T600 standing in the doorway and Suddenly Now he's in a room with the child that left the compound 30 minutes earlier running for his life. hmmmm, when did that happen? There were more but I'm trying to remove the movie from my memory to make room for better and more interesting things.

There is one thing this movie did well and that is helicopter crashes. The opening crash was so realistically filmed from a static point inside the helicopter with Christian Bale being tossed around, I felt it was actually happening. He's one actor who consistently gets battered in his roles and does a good job - although I think he could probably pick better movies to act in than this gong show.

my love :)

Anyway, enough ranting about that film. I still enjoyed cuddling on the couch and pointing out all the plot holes and stereotypes enforced by this film. And since this was his second time watching it, he wasn't so oblivious to it's shortcomings. I think I deserve to pick the next 4 movies we watch after that atrocity.

Back to the day. After dropping it off we headed down to Nerman's Books on Osborne. Sadly, there was only one board book in the entire basement with thousands of kids books. So I bought it. BUT I also found Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends"!! For 7$!! I was SOO excited since I've wanted his collection of children's poetry for ages but didn't want to shell out so much for the series. Now I've got one!

I'll share with you a poem:

Tree House

A tree house, a free house,

A secret you and me house,

A high up in the leafy branches

Cozy as can be house.

A street house, a neat house,

Be sure and wipe your feet house

Is not my kind of house at all-

Let's go live in a tree house.

And now for the downs.... this morning Jude was fighting his naps like it was the final battle of WWII, even though he was incredibly exhausted. Twice I tried leaving him for a few minutes (usually after a 5 minutes cry, the most we'll leave him alone, he's ready for cuddles and will settle down) to no avail. But now I feel like a terribly mommy because just as I was going back into the room I heard a crash and my baby was on the floor!!! It's not a high bed, just a boxspring and single mattress but my poor poor angel.... He's sleeping now and surely will have a bump on the head. After giving comforts and cradles I came out to cry myself in the living room. Sorry little bug!

Here's hoping the rest of the day gets better....

love crawling kisses

Well the transition has officially begun. My little bug started fully crawling during this past week! He had been getting up on hands and knees since early January and I kept thinking that crawling was just around the corner. Turns out slithering around backwards is easy compared to mastering the forward motion!!  But he diligently 'practiced' every day, moving a little more each day until I turned around a couple days ago and he'd moved halfway across the living room. 

And I mourned.... 

I needed to say goodbye to those sweet baby days since more and more, it was being proven to me that my little bug was becoming a toddler. I took a few days to be sad for the days gone by, remembering all his firsts and his amazing growth these last eight months. And then, Tuesday I turned the corner and was able to fully embrace his new freedom and toddlerhood. I awoke excited by his rolling and turning around in bed, his new interest in things he'd never noticed before (lotion bottle?? COOL! what's THAT mom?? I want it!!) and his incredible amount of love!

The best thing? Kisses and hugs!!!! I have been showered in baby kisses lately, so much so that I wondered whether it was possible to get too many kisses. He kisses me when I ask him, he crawls over to give Mommy kisses, he interrupts my conversations by coming up with a kiss! It's the sweetest thing in the world. The other day I was talking away, not realizing that Jude was trying to get my attention until he was standing in my lap planting a goobery smooch on me :) Best. Interruption. Ever!!

I realize that I need that time to mourn and say goodbye to what we're moving on from. I adored being pregnant, that amazing belly proudly sticking out, creating life and feeling great! Near the end of my pregnancy, I vividly remember setting aside the excitement of days to come to close the pregnancy chapter. I spent a week or so being sad about losing the belly, no longer feeling Plum somersaulting and doing the starfish inside me, knowing that that moment will never exist for me again. Once I had moved on mentally I was able to look forward and focus on the birth.

Each milestone has brought sadness for what we've left behind mixed with excitement over his new skill or sound. Squeals and grunts and laughter and giggles.... Lately he loves making noise on his inhales (try it by breathing in deeply while constricting your throat) and it's hilarious! I can hear him talking in the room when he wakes up from his nap or chatting to the curtains in the living room. 

A retrospective of the last nine months of me and my bug:

  

  

  

  

  

 

sickness and squirrels

So, we're sick. This entire past week I could feel myself fighting it off - so much more tired than usual, little energy, i felt as though I was dragging myself around all week. Took it easy and let Chris take over most of the household chores while I chugged tea and tried to keep it at bay. Alas, the threatening cold took over two nights ago with a sick baby who couldn't fall asleep and a wiped out mama trying to keep him happy.

We spent yesterday at home in pjs all day. Something strange about going to bed in the same outfit you wore the night before AND all day and are still not changing out of it. Jude at least got fresh pjs after bathtime but me... well, let's just say I probably didn't smell my freshest! It was a pretty miserable day for us - watched Sid the Science Kid on youtube while the olympics played out on tv, yelled at the squirrels and tried to keep bebe's mind off of being sick.

Oh, did I not mention the squirrels? They're back!!!! ARRRGGGG!!! Last spring we had squirrels that found their way into the walls of the house we (thankfully) rent. After weeks of telling my landlord, I finally got through to him by suggesting they were chewing the wiring (which they probably were) and could start a fire. He sent the exterminator down who sealed up the access points and pumped poison into my walls... Now, usually I would be upset about toxic substances in the house but these squirrels had me completely batty and we had to get rid of them. They would run back and forth between the floors, along the walls and through the crawlspace, chittering and even fighting in there! Oh my god they had me SO ANGRY!!!

Thankfully, one dose of poison and they were dead! We did a victory dead squirrel dance and moved on, hoping they wouldn't come back in the fall. They didn't. But yesterday they found a way in and have been back to their old antics. I spend the day yelling at them and pounding on the walls with various implements to get them to shut it. And I can hear babies.... DAMN IT!

So now I've been told that squirrels will come back to where they were born so unless we kill every single one this time we're in for the same deal every year. I cannot WAIT for the exterminator to get here and already called the landlord yesterday morning to get him making arrangements. They woke Jude from his nap with all their racket and I swear to god if I see one I will kill it with my bare hands. Squirrels outside = cute. Squirrels in the house = devil.

No, my squirrels don't look cute like this - but all I could find for pictures were either completely evil or cute.

At least Christel came over for a nice visit and didn't even mind that I was in pjs with uncombed hair. True friends are great :)

Today I hope to make it out to Food Fare for some chicken soup ingredients and Breads & Circuses for fresh crusty bread. Yum yum.

all about baby ;)

I've been in deep mourning this past week.... We visited with two moms (Melissa, who I know from high school and have recently reconnected with and Stephanie who I met off of kijiji, of all places) that each have a 4month old. I had quickly forgotten what 4 months means - sitting propped up, just started to pick up toys and mouth them, lots of staring and quiet(er) time. Meanwhile my busy busy little bee is just that - BUSY! He's all over his toy box, pulling everything out, crawling over the jungle gym of mom, chatting up a storm. Started the forward crawl this past week (although most days it more resembles a downward dog - up on toes and hands, just figuring out the forward motion) and the same day he grabbed my leg and pulled himself to standing! He's now closer to a toddler than a baby and I'm having to say goodbye to those sweet baby days....

Well, we are nearly at 8 months now. Still it seems to have come too fast! Before I know it he'll be walking and asserting himself. Trying hard not to think too far in advance (school! yikes!!) and just enjoy these moments everyday.

We dance! Almost everyday we dance around the living room- sometimes in mom's arms, sometimes the jolly jumper, sometimes standing alone... Lately we've been enjoying Ella Fitzgerald's 12 Nights in Hollywood, Billie Holiday's Ultimate Collection and some Phil Collins. Booboo loves being thrown high in the air (mom's building some hot pecs) and twirling/bouncing around the living room. I've taken to leaving the curtains open to take advantage of the sunshine although my neighbors now get to critique my lack of dance moves every day. Oh wells.

Jude and I have been fighting off a cold this last week... Other than some stuffiness and sneezing, nothing has come to pass, but we've been tired and cranky this entire week (sorry Chris!). Yesterday we napped together for 2.5 hours in the afternoon!!!! I could tell he was tired, getting quiet and sitting in Dad's lap just looking around. So we went to bed - minutes after he snuggled into my side we were both out. Woke to nurse after 1.5 hours, switched snuggle sides and conked out again. I tried to get out around 6pm since I had yoga at 7 - even wiggled out of my sweater since I didn't want to move him while he was lying on it. Was just about to head out the door when he lifted his head and looked around "Where are you??", saw me and laid down again.

I love sleeping with my baby!!! There's nothing better than a warm snugglebug cuddling you all night and waking to happy baby smiles! Lately he's a bundle of energy in the mornings, climbing over the both of us, kicking Dad if he tries to keep sleeping (hee hee) and squealing with glee. Impossible to be grumpy with that alarm clock!

Oh!! Almost forgot to mention HUGS! First hug for mom on Tuesday and yesterday he hugged Molly at mom's group. So sweet - been watching closely to make sure he doesn't grab her face or yank her around too hard when suddenly he opened his arms and leaned in close for a snuggle. TOOOO CUTE!

I've been deep into Olympic fever and Jude's helping me cheer on our amazing athletes. One of the mom's at the group I go to is Jon Montgomery's sister (he won Gold in skeleton on Friday) and she just got back from watching his run. Brought baby and the whole family to cheer him on. What an amazing experience! Wish I could be in Vancity now. I always forget just how much I love the Olympics but then find myself heavily invested in the outcome. Although mainly interested in the winter O's, not so much the summer ones. GO CANADA

clothing and chocolates and friends, oh my!

 (Harder and harder to get a good shot of my busy busy little bee)

Today was my (successful!) clothing swap! Had a diverse group of friends over with unwanted clothing and accessories. While visiting and munching on goodies, like these awesome chocolate pretzels, we traded stuff and had fun chatting. It was a small group but I think that's better - 5-8 people is plenty for variety of stuff as long as people have a similar body type. Many thanks to all the girls who came out and were involved!

(Had to include this GREAT smile even though it's blurry!)

A few things lately have got me thinking about friendships - mainly what to do when you value a friendship differently than your friend does. It's not a bad thing but sometimes you have a different level of commitment than they do or you expect the friendship do be something other than it is. What do you do?

It's been a few different people who have me pondering this. I have a certain expectation of spending time with my friends - if you don't spend time together, what the point? And I admit, I have some friends who I see rarely but the relationship is still there. My best friend growing up, old friends from my hometown and high schools, connections that were built strong and endure even though we may go months or even years without contact. Inevitably when you reconnect, the same bond that initially drew you together is there and you pick up like nothing changed.

But things are different with new friends. You don't have years of friendship or strong bonds formed. You may really like or feel drawn to the person and you think if they feel the same, maybe we'll spend time together and be friends. But what about the person who wants to be friends but doesn't make time to spend with you? I know people have all sorts of limits on their time but I also think it says something when platitudes of "oh, we should get together soon!" continue for months without contact.

I am as bad as the next person for saying "we should" instead of making concrete plans. Lately though, I've made efforts to visit and spend time with all people I'm interested in, inviting them to events and stopping by for tea. I really think we sometimes lose touch of the pleasure found connecting with others, so busy managing our daily lives (and who wants to live a life of management instead of enjoyment) that we don't take time for the important things.

So what to do.... accept things as they are, or stop putting energy into relationships that aren't equal?