niqab wars

I've been wanting to write about this for weeks now, nearly every time I see an article about the potential banning of the niqab going on in Quebec and also in various European countries. I kept putting it off partially because it has nothing to do with what my blog is usually about and yet... every time I see another piece about it I'm set on edge about the direction our country and the world is taking.

For those of you who aren't familiar with it, the niqab is the full head covering that some Muslim women wear that only allows the eyes to peek out. The burqua, which is also facing opposition, is the full body covering.

Quebec is trying to introduce a law that would ban women from wearing the niqab while accessing public services. These services include everything from hospitals to libraries, language classes, etc... The reasoning goes that these women are not integrated into society and for security, identification and communication they must uncover their faces while using public services or working for the public sector. Jean Charest has said even public sector employees who don't work with the public would be forbidden from wearing the head covering.

Now why would this be such a major issue as to require a bill passed when it's estimated only a few dozen women in all of Quebec choose to wear the head covering? The rhetoric continues to be that these are caged, oppressed women forced to cover up by their husbands or fathers. Even though it's not stated in the official bill, Christine St-Pierre (QCs Minister for the Status of Women) called the niqab an "ambulatory prison". Not only are we freeing them by banning the head covering but it also makes us more comfortable that we can see their faces while communicating.


But is this in the best interest of women who choose to wear the head covering for reasons of piety or personal choice?? I would be surprised if the people who are making regulations know any Muslim women who wear the niqab and are simply making assumptions based on their own ideals. We cannot say that all women wearing head coverings are forced there and not doing it by choice. So the issue then becomes Quebec banning an article of clothing because it makes them uncomfortable. 90% of Quebecers support the ban and so do 83% of Canadians!!!!


In this country we have immigrants from many different cultures and we have made accommodations for all sorts of issues and manners of dress. I can't believe our country is becoming so intolerant of certain cultures. What will become of the handful of niqab-wearing women in that province? They will either decide to stop wearing the niqab in certain situations (or at all), move elsewhere or be restricted in their movements and services they can access. Such a blatant move against the niqab will surely stoke the anger of people who already have prejudices against Muslim dress and I imagine at least some Quebecers will think nothing of approaching women to voice their negative opinions.


We have no other bans on clothing and there are ways around the security aspect. This is a government led issue (initially triggered when a niqab-wearing woman was expelled from a language class after a visit from the QC immigration minister) CBC article here
But with such widespread support nationwide and across the globe (bans proposed in Belgium, France and others) this seems destined to further drive a wedge between this small group and the rest of the world. To what end remains to be seen.

growing up

A recent realization I've had about myself is that I'm grown up... And not only that, but I also know who I am.

The moment things switched came and passed without notice. It may have been years ago but I wasn't exactly paying attention, rather living my life. I remember moving out initially when it felt like I was playing house, pretending to be grown up. Of course I would have never admitted that at the time. At 17 I was totally grown up and knew everything (doesn't every teenager?). It took years to build my home, first amassing stuff then purging with equal rigor. It took just as long to build myself...

I don't know if anybody really knows who they are during teenage and early 20s but I always felt drawn to others who had such a clear vision of themselves. I was more fluid, questioning aspects of my personality, trying to change and match what I thought I should be like. Feeling like I didn't quite fit in since I wasn't like anyone else I knew yet not realizing the beauty in just being me.

Lately I've realized I'm content. I know exactly who I am, my values and interests valid because they belong to me. Happy to admit when I don't know how to do something and asking to be taught. I still have a hard time disagreeing with others at times, even when I feel strongly in my opinion. Sometimes I find it difficult to explain why I feel a certain way so I prefer not to engage in a debate over my opinions, although my reasoning is usually quite sound I'm just unable to access it quickly enough.

There was a point I realized I'm not just playing house anymore. I am grown up, this is my life being lived every day. I could have never imagined it at age 12 or 16 or even 21. Yet here it is.

The hard work has paid off   :)

feeding the baby

To all of you who follow my blog and have already heard this rant in person, I'm sorry. I have been talking and talking about this over the last few days but still have not figured out how to tackle the problem.

Jude is a great eater. From the time he started noticing the world he focused on our food and meal time, watching everything Chris and I placed in our mouths. I remember him staring intently into a bowl of raspberries and cream, anxious to be big enough that he could try such deliciousness.

We had a few hiccups with starting solids - I wasn't super consistent with it at six months, preferring to nurse and really only starting new foods occasionally to see what he enjoyed. And then so many foods aggravated his belly and we'd have nights full of gas, cramps and restlessness. So with doctor's approval, we stopped until he was seven months and we'd returned from the Bahamas.

Then it was magic - his digestive system was so much more mature and he was interested in whatever we fed him. Also being bigger he didn't need to have such thin purees and we fed him thicker, chunkier homemade foods. Although we initially started with rice cereal (as recommended) I had my doubts that filling his belly with grains was the best nutrition he could get and we quickly put that behind us, feeding him off the table or altered portions of whatever Mom and Dad were eating.

So I restate - Jude is a great eater! He eats beef, chicken, egg yolks, bread, cereals, yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, fruit, veggies, ... Yes I've exaggerated how wonderful each of these foods are and yes I've made silly faces and demonstrated "chew chew chew and swallow" more times than I can count, but all that hard work has paid off. He's not picky, he smiles and giggles at the table, he clearly shows when he wants water and when he's done and he loves trying new things.

But soon we are coming to a time when I can't control everything he eats. I'm returning to work in less than 2 months, at which point I'll be gone a minimum of 3.5 days at a time. I have no worries about Chris feeding him whatsoever as we are both on the same page but there will be times when he'll be staying with his grandparents, aunts and uncles or friends while Chris works a shift. I've always expected any caregiver to be respectful of our choices in what to feed him - we'll likely send meals along for him so there's no guesswork involved.

Now, I will preface this by saying that I always knew that my mother-in-law would have opinions and really push the envelope when it came to caring for the baby. She has a strong personality, has raised three kids and believes she knows best in every situation imaginable. I had watched her ply her other grandkids with treats every time they came to visit, circumventing the parent's attempts to stop her and always trying to get away with a little more. I fully expected a battle when it came to food, although I guess I always thought she would at least feed him his meal before capping it off with junk food.

At the zoo last Saturday for my nephew's birthday party, Nanny decided (halfway through me feeding him a healthy lunch) to shove cupcake into my nine-month old's mouth while my head was turned. And proceeded to do it twice more. Now of course, said nine-month old had no interest in continuing his meal after getting a taste of sugar. Was that necessary? Did she ask whether it was alright? Of course not. Aside from the fact that I don't want my son eating sugar and spurning the good, healthy food he currently loves in favor of processed junky crap, she had no idea what ingredients were in that cupcake and whether he would have a reaction to any of it. Later on I intercepted a bottle of Gatorade that she was attempting to feed him. Great.

So now I have to have the conversation with her. I know there is no reasoning and explaining because she can do no wrong, and I think it will come down to an ultimatum that unless we know what she is feeding him, we won't bring him over unless one of us is present. God that sucks to have to do that but I don't see any way around it. She so badly wants to feed him whatever she wants that I wouldn't put it past her to throw out the food we bring over and give him junk without telling us.

"Don't feed me junk Nanny! I need good food to grow up big and strong"


On a side note, we met another baby Jude at the kiddie pool today :) Mine was cuter ;)

Sunshine, sunshine

I have been loving loving loving this amazing weather we are experiencing. It feels like we've had months of beautiful weather and it's only April!! The screen tent is up, the yard is clean, clothesline has been hung, barbecue lit (more than once), car cleaned and now waiting to plant... The gardening centres and nurseries don't seem ready for the fact that people are wanting to plant already since it's so unusual. Normal years we'd still have snow on the ground! Crazy to think that since we've been out in summer clothes for weeks now and we've all adjusted to the warm weather. Winter jackets, hot soup and mittens? Can't imagine being there.


This video has been on my mind lately, dancing through my head

We shut off the heat today (celebration time!!). I'm sure we're quite far behind other people but our house stays surprisingly cool during the summer months. They were building smartly back in 1902. When we moved here two years ago in June, it was so hot outside but we were shivering in sweaters and long pants inside the house! I'm thankful for that when the air conditioning bills come in the summer... not so much for the winter heating bills though.

But summer!! Oh thank goodness you are here, we've been SO overdue for a good one. If I hadn't had a baby last year, I would have taken off for sunnier locales for sure, just tired of waiting for warm weather.

We've been lazing around in our tent with a blanket on the ground, letting Jude explore. Cruising up and down the couch, from chair to table and back again. His initial unsteadiness and occasional faceplant has given way to a surprisingly sturdy stance. He gets up and down again with rarely a miss. I'm both excited and scared to see him start taking steps on his own. We have a walker (essentially he pushes it and walks behind it) that he has no interest in using but this morning we discovered that he'll happily walk behind an upside down laundry basket, pushing it around. Children don't need toys, they need exploration and positive feedback. What's more exciting between a fisher price sorter and a spatula? Spatula wins every time!

Spent the afternoon lounging around the park with Mikki and Kingsley - more sunshine, swings and leaves in the mouth. munch munch yum yum. Elicited a rare smile from the serious Miss Kingsley (which I will hold onto happily until the next one comes!) and borrowed a wrap so I thankfully didn't need to carry my heavy heavy bug home again. With him in and out of arms so quickly, it's been such a pain to tie my Cuddly Wrap (although I do love it so) and I often end up just carrying him on the hip... but OH THE PAIN! My elbow aches, my shoulder throbs, my leg starts twitching! I know, melodramatic much but he's a serious heavyweight. Now that other mama's and I are passing babies back and forth, I'm always excited at holding a featherweight baby while they can't believe how hefty my guy is. He's a solid mass of baby, that one. Healthy all the way.

What else has been happening this past week? Bread baking (for the first time ever!) was quite successful. Will definitely have to revisit that but sans the molasses. They were quite noticeable in the finished product although they gave the bread a nice colour. Visits and more visits, teething and more teething, celebrated my brother Gabriel's birthday on Friday with a family BBQ and homemade cheesecake. yum. Did bedtime routine at my parents and he was asleep before reaching the Pembina underpass. Success! I think that's more than enough catching up for now.

I always think if I posted more often I wouldn't have to rant on and on... not sure if that's true or just wishful thinking. Perhaps one day.

But my ranting on and on also provides me with something to do instead of getting out the sewing machine and finally teaching myself how to sew something. So it's a great time waster.

oh the teeth

 The second week of bad teething, poor little guy. He's usually ok during the day but naps have been a bugger turning a happy baby into an overtired mom-attached monkey. He clings to mom and has a hard hard time going down to sleep and staying down. Yikes this is not a fun teething episode. Poor dude.

This is what happens when mama tries to take a bath while baby should be sleeping. The whole family ends up gathered in the bathroom while mom attempts to snack (omg amazing Breyers mix ice cream - think neopolitan but with chocolate, dark chocolate and vanilla instead) and baby tries to climb into the bathtub with her. I finally gave in and took him in, fully clothed and all. I'm glad we got a pic but you can just see how miserable he is. I wish I could help him feel better - just doing the best we can.

nine months

When he was first born so wee and brand new, we had no memories of him and every day we discovered each other

When he opened his eyes to stare into mine or roosted content on mama's chest, legs curled up in my lap, I couldn't imagine him as a boy or a teenager, only always a tiny perfect baby

He learned- he smiled, he spoke, he loved us intensely as we were his entire world and he ours

We learned- we bathed reluctantly, snuggled happily, our rhythms adjusted to his

Those many nights staring nose to nose, disbelieving he was ours, that his tiny body was ready for the world, trusting us to guide him

We were amazed- we had created a person, an incredible human we placed into the world and now we'd wait and discover who he was

Tonight my son lay down on my chest, his legs extending to my knees, hands busily curling and twisting in the air as he tried to calm enough to drift away

Today I can see- he is larger, he is learning, he will grow and change every day

Soon he will walk. Then run. Soon he will have choices and make decisions.

Until then we can be his world and I couldn't feel more blessed

guilty television

I have a confession to make - as much as I seem to be the almost-hippy, natural "no tv" sort of type, I actually follow a number of shows. On streaming video of course since my tv operates on rabbit ears (and don't tell me about the free signal getting cut soon because I've been watching that date get continually pushed back and will deal with it when need be). But after Jude's asleep and I often have no energy to do anything but laze on the couch, I have a roster of regular shows I'll watch on CTV, or Global, or even MTV streaming sites.

And tonight was a strangely exciting episode of The Vampire Diaries. Funny to say since I began watching the show on a lark and initially it was really really cheesy. Chris and I would joke about how I was still watching it but when I ran out of good shows to watch it was there and mildly interesting. But the thing is, it's like a soap opera, with vampires... and once you start watching, and following the characters, you actually start watching the show regularly to see what happens. And it sort of seems to be getting better? I'm not sure, maybe it's just me because now that I'm hooked I can no longer judge whether it's good or bad. It's still really cheesy often, but strangely it's now also good...

And tonight was a very exciting, action-packed episode. Lots of story arcs, and changes (Stephan drinks from Helena! And now that's he's got the taste of blood he can't stop!) and setups for future episodes. Man oh man, I was on the edge of my seat. And also more than a little bemused at myself for feeling that way.

And it's funny, because we actually choose not to have cable and are currently debating whether it's worth getting simply because we would get a deal from Shaw that would have us paying the same amount for cable/internet/phone as we currently pay just for the internet and phone. Neither of us really wants cable and I'd actually rather keep it out of the house. I think there's the worry that we would then watch more tv or have it on more often. And I'm really quite happy being cable-less. Most of what we want to see we get online, for less commercials and with less crap content.

What I am currently watching - Flashforward, Gossip Girl, The Vampire Diaries, Fringe, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, America's Next Top Model

Still loving my haircut even now that its been a couple months.

The happy face of accomplishment: Look Mom,I pulled up by myself!

2 months and counting

The dreaded return to work is coming and I can't do anything to stop it... Two more months of long baby days, afternoon naps and weeks blending into months. I've absolutely loved (nearly) every moment of being home with baby and even though I've attempted to put off thinking of the eventual return to work, it's been in my mind every week since he was born.

So many preparations, so many unknowns... Childcare, nursing after my return, how will he react? I reached a turning point a couple months ago when I realized that with me going back to work (at VIA I'll be away a minimum of 3.5 days at a time) it will give Chris a chance to play a new, bigger role in Jude's life. I look forward to seeing their relationship change as he relies more on papa for day to day care. I just don't know what to expect as far as changes go in our relationship! Will Jude be happy to see me when I get back, will he be angry, upset and clingy or will he push me away? I just don't know!!!

The upside is that it'll only be five months before I'm laid off to spend all winter with my babe plus the long days in between trips. Dreaming of gardens and grass, summer playdates, camping and beaches...

A few months ago Jude started trying to sneak his fingers into his mouth while nursing. It was funny and annoying all at once as he broke suction and was continually relatching on. I would pull his thumb or fingers (yes, more than one) out of the side of his mouth chastising him for playing instead of eating. One time I let him play around for a bit and he actually figured out how to suck his thumb while still continuing to nurse! Now it's regular occurrence that I'll notice him chomping away at a thumb or finger while eating. What a funny dude.

Spent Monday walking around in the sunshine and ended up at the park. What a beautiful day! Jude crawled around in the leaves, grabbing branches and ferns, watching butterflies converge on our tree and bugs floating in the river, crawling intently towards two puppies who were already halfway across the park. Then we met the Aunty Mimi for more walks and Forks dining. All in all 5 hours out on foot! My poor tootsies are not used to all this walking and after a visit from the other Aunty (Leona), I laid up on the couch watching online tv.

Then we've had a busy week of baby groups and playdates. Today is the first day we have nothing planned - will see how the morning shapes up and may hit up the pool later on.

computers woes

I've been missing from computer-land since last Wednesday (five days? an eternity!!) after watching my computer slowly die in front of me. The trouble really started Tuesday when firefox suddenly shut down all screens. Then my computer couldn't follow any of the desktop links and it all started going downhill.

Thank GOD Celindy's boyfriend Jason is a computer god. She told me she would send him over the next day, not realizing it meant he'd be spending 12 hours over the next few days working diligently - and he's still not finished! For us who have no extra money to bring it in to get fixed and nowhere near the computer knowledge needed in order to rescue it, he's been an absolute godsend.

I definitely panicked, trying to frantically back up my newest pictures that were not saved anywhere else, and all my Jude videos (yes, i know. How many times I had looked at them thinking "i really should back these up" only to be distracted yet again and leave them helplessly spiralling into the black hole of my dying compute. Melodramatic? Not at all when it feels like your whole life is contained in this box that has been overtaken by a virus who now controls all functions.)

I did manage to burn discs of photographs but the video burning program would not allow me to do anything but watch (and hope) as Jason toiled hour after hour, fixing one problem only to find another issue.

The upside has been not having the timewaster on during the day. No checking facebook for no reason, no surfing in the evening to find that hours have passed. And really, I didn't miss anything. A few status updates and emails that didn't reach me but all in all I wasn't lacking in any knowledge of other people's goings-ons. If anything, it's taught me to stay away a little more. Of course I missed checking the weather. My bank balance. The regular things you do without thinking and later realize that although there surely is a way to do this over the phone, you don't even know where to call.

In other news - Jude is moving too fast to capture any new cute pictures! It was so much easier when he stayed in one spot but now the instant the camera comes out he starts reaching for it resulting in blurs and numerous shots of the top of his head. Sit still my bug! Enjoy this awesome picture I found online