facebook and changing memories...

i went through my facebook profile photos yesterday... looking back at the way I chose to remember and represent myself the past few years. remembering moments and what I was doing then. facebook has starting including every email you've ever wrote someone when you message them. which is strange to see communications over years, some long some simply recurring... a record of the contacts and histories you have with someone.

facebook will change the way my son knows me. he'll see the photos of him I've posted and the loving, exasperated non stop appreciations of his being. i feel torn about posting photos and stories to the world then simply want to explore more. the catharsis of figuring things out while writing them, the weighing in from friends and others about issues, the understanding of our lives others have without being in constant contact. Then there's the ability to look back and see your feelings at that moment. But these things my son will read which weighs in. Hmmm, secret diary open to the world. Living a life of honesty, free and open. What will it bring?

(my facebook photo today. mon amour et Rabbity)

spring!

getting home greenery crowded from all sides. It's lush and overgrown, an explosion from before we left. Though we'd just cut the grass it needed it again. The front window framed in green that were only buds one week ago. now I need the hot heat that lush yards should bring. The rain has left everything damp indoors but cool, our 1903 home always good at staying cool despite large windows... i feel i live in savannah when our yard drips tendrils and pinecones, apple trees blossoms and crabgrass that won't be annihilated. the garage falling down slowly reclaimed by trees and rabbits... a mishmash firepit, random stepping stones half sunk in mossy carpet. I love our yard despite overturned earthworm ground that always feels rough underfoot, dandelion garden competing grass and clover underfoot. I love our giant pine sheltering robins and jays and little boys running underneath... the left behind dog house a perfect two year old size as they hide and giggle inside. soon the garden will flourish and the evening rays will smell of basil and mint once more.

We spend as much time as we can outside though the heat hasn't appeared again... my bean is exploding in cuddles and happiness at our time together, washing dishes side by side, checking construction and trucks at the corner, running circles around a mama maypole body tense with energy. I know it'll be busy, fitting visits and yardwork and housework and shows... but each moment will be fun and worth the craziness :)

my end of the world

follows as any other day. A rainy vancouver long weekend where I actually stayed in for hours resting as I should most layovers. The allure of the city draws me out to wander and explore. I stayed in bed for hours after arriving late to non stop drizzle through bright skies. Time to work, time to catch up on emails never sent and union work sitting in my lap for months. Time to reconnect with old friends, time to lay my head down while saturday drains away from me. Enjoying restful afternoon in my 9th floor hotel room watching pigeons court the dames.

Tonight I'll hit the town with a friend from Van and see where the night leads. Today I rested my soul and took time. 

Those VIA lads and ladies who left recently will miss the sunny afternoons in the baggage car, doors slid wide as valleys and mountains slide past and the air rushes in. Disheveled return to coach hair askew smelling of smoke and mountain winds. They'll miss random nighttime conversations when you sit listening to traveler tales. I sat in the dark hearing Tyson Kerr's compositions after seeing him transcribe music across the prairies. The world slid past as you pause.

S