trying

 I am trying
Trying hard, to stay in the moment to escape getting lost in the future. Looking towards my return to work which creeps closer every day, too easy to get buried with lists of must-dos and preparations. I've slowed down each day. Stayed home instead of running from group to swimming to playdates like usual. Enjoying each moment, attending to the house, the garden, the weeding, the laundry, reading books, eating flowers, dancing wildly, snuggling thoroughly.

I am fighting to stay grounded in this moment, not ignoring what's coming but rather acknowledging it's eventuality but refusing to let it affect my time left at home. I am waiting to bump in near the beginning of June and will try to leave June 8th on Celindy (and hopefully my) crew.

We aren't waiting, we're living. Each day new wonders - our crab apple tree was in full bloom as we returned, spilling fragrant petals into the yard. Lazing in sunlit kiddie pools, laundry to hang on the line, summer has arrived.

It was great to watch Jude's face when we got home. All smiles for papa, grasping onto his hand and chattering away in the car. When we entered the house his eyes widened, taking in familiar sights, recognizing his home, his toys, feeling completely at ease. He has been happy with both of us these last few days but when we are all together as a family, his joy practically explodes out of him. We could be doing nothing, just laying on the floor watching him play and he will crawl over to touch and grin at us, joyous to have both his parents together loving him.

Tomorrow the soil gets delivered and planting will take place this week. Hope for nice weather :)