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Two years ago Chris and I did something that has affected our lives so completely, and I'm only just now realizing this. No, not conceiving a baby. We moved! I lived in St. Boniface for at least five years and had a tough time deciding to leave and settle into a new community. But we had a small one bedroom crammed full of stuff after Chris moved in with me. After dealing with that for over a year, we couldn't hold off any longer and started looking for another rental. I loved StB so much, the small shops, corner movie store, hearing families speaking French in the supermarket or on the streets.... We wanted a house with a yard on a limited budget and just couldn't find one in the area although I looked and looked. Spent months combing the classifieds and kijiji, checking out properties and finding perfect homes that rented for more than we could afford. I was looking at other central areas as well - walking distance is important to me and I can't see myself living in the suburbs, forced to drive for everything.

our old apartment

Can you tell I was in love with the balcony?

Finally, I was delighted to find this little house on Jessie Avenue - massive yard, minutes from Confusion Corner, easy bus routes and in the centre of shopping, bars, grocery stores. Not to mention the fantastic 50s-style kitchen with breakfast nook and the option of sub-renting the upstairs to a tenant of our choosing! It was PERFECT!

The only problem - I missed the community, the sense of knowing neighbors and shop owners that I felt in St. Boniface. Corydon and Osborne seemed populated with young, hipsters who thought they were so cool to live here, crowding out the remaining elders and families who mainly kept to themselves.

I was sad for over a year, grudgingly admitting the nice things about my neighborhood while picking out all the negatives. I wanted the Safeway cashiers to recognize me when I shopped, I wanted people to smile at me on the streets. Oh, I'm sure there were more that I can't even remember now.

Something came to me today. A revelation of how much my life has changed in these past years. I had a baby, which naturally includes me into different groups and gave me opportunities to meet lots of people I would have never otherwise. And I have met amazing people who are great friends and sources of support, information, resources. I feel so incredibly blessed to know people who inspire me to do more and have such strengths that they are willing to share. I've learned how to bake bread (thanks Christel) and been inspired to do it alone with a baby (Cindy!). I am planting a garden despite killing houseplants and couldn't do it without all the tips and help from Kate, James, Christel and likely many more. I attended the nurse-in at Pan Am Pool last Friday and was surprised how many moms there were women I had only met in recent months, all from this area and holding similar viewpoints and open to activism if needed (Mikki, Erin and April stand out, although I know there were more). Mikaela has encouraged me to play the piano more publicly and use my strengths while through yoga with Amanda I've learned so many grounding and releasing techniques that I use every single day without being conscious of it.

While I've been growing and changing inwardly, the people I've met and befriended lately all have ties to this area of the city. I chose a yoga studio based on closeness and cost and in it found an amazing group of women and a leader who always knows what we need to stretch and release depending on season, moon cycle and just a general intuition. I have attended the mom and baby group since Jude was 6 weeks old and have met further fantastic women through this. I feel like many of the connections made this past year will continue on for a lifetime and were I not living here, at this time, that connection may not have been forged at all.

I guess I'm torn between feeling that the path we tread is so tenuous and such a small decision can have a major, unknown impact on your life, or considering that our path is loosely foretold and in all my possible lives I would find myself here in this place. I'll be pondering that for a while I'm sure. Regardless I really couldn't be happier. I say that knowing that my life is not perfect and I am far from a perfect partner or mother myself, that I have days where everything seems to go wrong and days where everything feels terrible. And yet, my life is perfect. I have everything I could want and am terribly terribly blessed.

THANK YOU