I'm ready. so ready to return to the click clack rumble tracks, pressed blue uniforms still waiting for the sizes that fit this year. And I haven't gotten my letter calling me back to the board though i miss by few numbers... I wait, i wait. And my suitcase sits half packed body taut awaiting calls each day.... the string tightening preparing for change and changing uncertainties. how will the now nearly two year old react to mom's absences? since we ended nursing in the past four weeks he has become a snuggly monster, crawling into laps wrapping strong arms around necks to pull us close, breathe us in and cover our face with wet open mouthed kisses. I feel him approach from behind and climb my back to hold onto me.
His existence is physical. Without words his body radiates, shakes with laughter as the face delights, eyebrows wide face expansive capturing each movement. He leaps and gallops, spins circles and walks a silly wide-gait stride. He touches and pushes and scratches and pulls. His fingers glide on my skin, cupping my face and pressing until it hurts. Nuzzling noses an extreme sport only for those who don't wear glasses or mind bruised faces. When Jude hurts or is shocked and unhappy, his face turns down, arms lash out towards mom or dad. i don't like this his entire body says. Such strong emotions and not being understood to handle at not yet two.
And then he curls on my lap bringing purposeful books (Just me and my Mom), wriggles down to run into the other room and fetch baby bear. His focus surprises me every time. Most other friends his age hardly sit through one story book while Jude could hear twenty long stories without boredom. What a joy reading books with my child.
I'm anxious to go knowing all will change so shortly preferring to start that journey now and GET STARTED ALREADY
Anxious much?
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