clothing and chocolates and friends, oh my!

 (Harder and harder to get a good shot of my busy busy little bee)

Today was my (successful!) clothing swap! Had a diverse group of friends over with unwanted clothing and accessories. While visiting and munching on goodies, like these awesome chocolate pretzels, we traded stuff and had fun chatting. It was a small group but I think that's better - 5-8 people is plenty for variety of stuff as long as people have a similar body type. Many thanks to all the girls who came out and were involved!

(Had to include this GREAT smile even though it's blurry!)

A few things lately have got me thinking about friendships - mainly what to do when you value a friendship differently than your friend does. It's not a bad thing but sometimes you have a different level of commitment than they do or you expect the friendship do be something other than it is. What do you do?

It's been a few different people who have me pondering this. I have a certain expectation of spending time with my friends - if you don't spend time together, what the point? And I admit, I have some friends who I see rarely but the relationship is still there. My best friend growing up, old friends from my hometown and high schools, connections that were built strong and endure even though we may go months or even years without contact. Inevitably when you reconnect, the same bond that initially drew you together is there and you pick up like nothing changed.

But things are different with new friends. You don't have years of friendship or strong bonds formed. You may really like or feel drawn to the person and you think if they feel the same, maybe we'll spend time together and be friends. But what about the person who wants to be friends but doesn't make time to spend with you? I know people have all sorts of limits on their time but I also think it says something when platitudes of "oh, we should get together soon!" continue for months without contact.

I am as bad as the next person for saying "we should" instead of making concrete plans. Lately though, I've made efforts to visit and spend time with all people I'm interested in, inviting them to events and stopping by for tea. I really think we sometimes lose touch of the pleasure found connecting with others, so busy managing our daily lives (and who wants to live a life of management instead of enjoyment) that we don't take time for the important things.

So what to do.... accept things as they are, or stop putting energy into relationships that aren't equal?